Little Miss Muffet

I am an ammidyphobic, meaning I have a great fear of losing a loved one over death.

My jolly and go happy personality is threatened by this. The best defense mechanism I can throw is by keeping silent. But that just worsens it. I hate seeing hospital beds. I hate walking through a hospital’s hallway. I hate seeing an oxygen tank. I hate seeing patient suffers.

More than a year have passed ever since my mom left us. I’m not yet over.Barely. Slowly but surely.

2009.

I saw my mom suffer. Tiring trips to the hospital. Kazillions of medicines to take. Oxygen tank.

I hate seeing her cry because of the pain.

I hate seeing her suffer.

Maybe God really has a purpose of taking her. I have to look at the bright side… she’s now resting. I guess she’s now smiling and laughing the way she did when I was a little kid or even before the sickness took over her.

Cancer is such an ugly thing. But Cancer can never take away my mom’s memories and her courage.

I love you, mom. You are a strong woman, mom. You fought until the very end. Have a nice rest. I know you’re watching over us. How I wish I could tell you stories. I know you’d be happy to hear them.

To everyone who’s reading this… hug your mom. Tell her you love her. Don’t waste any time. Life is short. It’s up to us to make the most out of it.